8.03.2010

Time

Where does time go? Seriously it just flys by at times, and yet there are moments that seem to last much longer than they should.

Why is it when you're in a rut, that's when time seems to stand still? Yet in times in the luscious valley, they seem so brief?

I'm a bag of dry bones right now, seems I have been for at least 3 years. I've had brief, very brief moments where I seem alive, but they are fleeting. And being a ministry major, "trained" to lead students in and out of these crazy times, I can't seem to navigate myself out of the dessert. I have the tools, a bookshelf full of them. I have unending resources at my finger tips, yet I barely glance at them.

It sucks. I hate it. I want to move out of it. I need someone to help me pack my bags because I'm done staying in this dry dreary place of life. We've finally found a place of worship to call home. I've loved being at a place where I'm reminded of who I call Father, how He's actively pursuing me no matter what junk I've done. I still need a kick in the pants. I need one before Eleana gets old enough to know. I want to show her what a God fearing woman looks like and how to enjoy the adventure that living a life of faith can bring. I want her to know what it means to be engaged in a life changing love affair with Jesus.

So I'm going to start journaling....again. I'm not sure if I'm going to journal online or if its something I want to sit down and pen out. But I need to flush out some thoughts, desires, heart aches, disgruntled opinions, etc. There seems to be a release in writing that a conversation can't always bring. Does that even make sense?

So if you wouldn't mind keeping me in mind of the next few weeks. Lets hope I get off to a good start and I don't sink back into my apathetic lifestyle. It just isn't a satisfying way to live life.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I like the new blog look!

I'm so happy you found a place to worship! That has to feel like some sort of accomplishment.

From the moment I first got pregnant and every day I'm awake I feel as you do. I think part of it is being a mother. Even if that precious babe isn't in our arms at that moment our minds and hearts are constantly looking over them. Just think how worn out God feels every day! HA. No seriously...being Almighty and everything can't possibly mean He isn't worn out by caring for all of us. Right?

Miss ya!