In the last month...

Where do I start?? A lot has happened in the last month.

Eleana Marie Torres arrived on Tuesday, September 15th at 10:39 pm. Birth definitely was not as bad as I thought...thanks to the epidural. TAKE THE EPIDURAL! :) I went into labor saying we're going with the light pain meds they give you (I believe it was Nubain) Well, the Nubain only did so much. It merely took the edge off of the pain and at about 6pm that wasn't enough. I'm sure I could have managed the pain part of it, but I am not sure I would have had the energy to stay awake for the final important moments. So, epidural it was. I was able to take a nap before she made her big debut and I really needed it.

Words can not describe the last month. I'm a mom... a MOM! I have a daughter... a DAUGHTER! Its still weird to say and hear it, but it is a sweet sound to my ears. She's been a fairly easy baby so far. We had our days and nights mixed up for the first two weeks and there were times at 4 am where I thought I was going to lose it. We made it through though. We now have a normal schedule...well at least our days and nights are when they should be. Our only problem now is that we don't want to go to sleep. I have no idea why a 4 wk old would put off going to bed, but Eleana certainly fights it at times.

She certainly is a beauty! I know we're biased, but she is so darn cute. And growing like a weed! She already is growing out of her newborn pajama's and clothing. We're moving into 3 month clothing. Who knows where she gets her long legs and her big feet, but that's what is making us move into larger footie pajama's.

All in all, the last month brought a lot of changes but it feels like life has always been this way. Our family seems a little more complete now that Eleana has arrived. We'll keep you posted as she continues to grow!

New Friends at Alice.com

So I've become acquainted with this new website http://www.alice.com/ I've ordered twice already and its great! I love knowing that I can do shopping without leaving my home, saving myself time AND money. I order toilet paper, lotion, snacks, Twizzlers for Jose, cleaning supplies, etc. They do the searching for coupons saving me money. They also ship FOR FREE, saving me even more money. I haven't had to wait more than two days for my shipment to arrive either, so its not like I'm waiting a week for my much needed toilet paper to arrive. Its at my doorstep (or campus mail) in the same amount of time it would take me to get out to the store (I typically forget I need it and don't make it out to get the TP for another two days to a week anyway). And when baby Torres comes along (ANY DAY NOW!!!) who doesn't want to have something so easy and convenient like Alice to help get shopping done. It is worse than pulling teeth on a lion to get Jose to go to the grocery. So the less things on the list, the happier we both will be.

Some things I do recommend shopping around for though. I'm picky on some things I use and they are not necessarily the cheapest on Alice. If you are just a bargain shopper when it some things then you can get some great deals.

They also have this great blog. They feature new products, time saving ideas, and just in general good housekeeping fun things. This week I was reading the blog and came across an interesting title.. "If the Health Department Isn’t Coming, It’s Clean Enough (+ Giveaway!) " There's a new book out called The White Trash Mom Handbook by Michelle Lamar.

I'm all for catchy titles on books, especially if they are going to give me advice and tips on how to do things that I normally do. (Remember I'm a huge fan of the book Green Chic..) Anyway, the excerpt that is on the blog is pretty good. She even gives nod to being green but being in a pinch. Sounds like my kind of book! I'm sure I'll end up with the book in hand, so I'll let you know how it turns out or you could just check it out for yourself!

Music to my ears!

So last week I went to the Dr and I had it set that it was week 37. The Dr walks in and says..."So week 36". I said politely, NO this is week 37. She said 'No week 36'. I said two weeks ago it was week 35.... She said well lets look (she is the one that holds the records). Turns out I was 36 weeks and 3 days. I was totally week 37..... :) Who cares what she thinks, she's only the Dr right? And I'm thinking, throw me a freakin' bone! I'm so ready to be done with this, just make it week 37 already! But she didn't move any dates or anything. I was beginning to think she was against me or hated me or something.

But this week she went and totally redeemed herself!

I went in for my "37" week check up and she checked me out. Yes, the physical exam not just the measure my belly and hear the heartbeat kind. This is something that you oddly look forward to when you are this far along. It isn't pleasant but it must be done. She goes through the normal quick questions " How do you feel? Is the baby still moving..." This time I get to tell her that yeah 'he/she' is definitely moving and I think we've headed south more. I can feel the baby in butt area when he/she decides to move. With a surprised/excited look on her face, my Dr says.."OH he/she really is moving down then...lets check it out. "

She said "Yep! Definitely down there, I could feel the head. You're dilated to about 1, about 70% effaced, and definitely thinning. The cervix is still tucked under the head, but its definitely thinned." I told her about something else (rather gross so I'll spare you the details) and she said..."Oh that could be part of the mucus plug."

And the words that made my day...."Well, If you go into labor this weekend...." Do you know how long I've waited to hear those words? Well, ok, up until the past week or two I could have waited, but the past two weeks that is all I've wanted to hear! Being dilated to 1 isn't much, but it is more than what I was and it means that labor could happen tomorrow, or it could happen in two weeks...or four....BUT we're making progress!

Today she was a little more lively than normal. She had been at the hospital and had to come running back to the office, so either the jog energized her or she is just a Dr who is someone you want to visit in the early afternoon. I typically go at 4 or 4:30 and by then she is drained I'm sure so she's not really ever been full of expression like she was today.

She said she was going to be out of town on this weekend, so if I do go into labor then some other Dr is on call and will fill in. Jose's family would probably not make it into to town this weekend if we went into labor. Plus two soccer games....we may have a weekend ripe for labor! Just when things get busy, but who knows. I did survive two weeks of craziness and Move-In weekend for the Freshman class and returning students. Maybe this kid is going to hang on for dear life inside.

Where I'm at...

Man...I don't think Sept 19th could get here any faster. Seriously, it seems like I've been telling people "Oh just 3 weeks left" for the past two months! And in talking with other ladies who have blazed the path of pregnancy before me, we've come to an agreement (me just the realization). The last weeks of pregnancy are not fun. They stink in fact. You are so miserable at times, but all for a good cause. You need some motivation to go through the pains of labor. At that point, you're saying "Lets get this over with!!!" so you'll do just about anything to get the child out. That's Labor!

So what am I learning now? I choose to look at this as a lesson. Life is full of lessons.

1. I have no feet.
2. Wait I do, they look like elephant feet by now.
3. I've never seen my fingers so fat in my life. U-G-L-Y...but I do have an alibi, I'm PREGNANT!
4. I eat constantly. Snack-0-holic! Soaking it in while I can.
5. Rolling over in bed...the thought just makes me laugh.
6. I sound like a horse when I breath. You can hear me from the other room.
7. Ain't no shame in taking the elevator up just one floor.
8. People LOVE to say..."You look like you're about to POP!"
9. People love to tell me..."You have how many weeks left? You don't even look that big!" (I think they are crazy.
10. I feel as big as a HOUSE!
11. Packing a bag for the hospital is hard! What do you take with you to make you look fabulous after X amount of hours sweating through labor?
12. Jose is more nervous about this than I am. Maybe I'm missing something?
13. There is no bending over to tie shoes, put socks on, pick anything up....ITS IMPOSSIBLE! I'm glad its flip flop season!
14. I have mastered the waddle. It actually gets better as you go along in pregnancy. I had someone ask me if we were on the way to the hospital the other night all based on how I was walking. Oh the pregnancy waddle. Its a beautiful walk.
15. I think my belly is permanently stuck lopsided as long as this child is inside of me. My right side holds the back and the butt of this beautiful creation and it is constantly sticking out. Hopefully not a sign of things to come.
16. Kicks and punches have now become painful. I swear this child takes after me in all my boniness as a child.
17. Did you know you can develop Carpel Tunnel Syndrome while you're pregnant? Yeah, big time. Fluid builds up in your wrists and really starts to wreak havoc. Add the stiff fat fingers and its a great way to wake up in the morning. I can barely grab the covers to move out of bed.
18. Ligaments stretch and it feels like you've got the worst pulled groin muscle in the world. Then the other side kicks in. So walking around you look like a fool (this contributes to the waddle I'm sure). I've about collapsed a few times, I'm sure I look real graceful at times.

All in all, the last few weeks just are not pretty. Although people have said, 'You make it look great!'...they are just being kind. There is no pretty in this phase. But that's OK. It is a means to a beautiful end. Surprisingly I have found myself laughing more now than I did before. I giggle all the time, at the dumbest parts of the oddities of pregnancy. It really has gotten me through the last month or two. If you can't laugh at yourself in life...you're going to be miserable. I don't want to be miserable.

With the crib up, the chair in (LOVE THE CHAIR!!) for rocking, and diapers everywhere, it is really starting to sink in. I'm having a child. This time next month I will be hold a child in my arms that grew inside of me. Still freaky for me to think about, but totally exciting. Things are about to change.....for the better!

It finally hit me...

I have to deliver this baby that is inside of me!

I know, I know...that is how it works. But I've been so focused on what is going on now that I haven't thought about what will really happen in September! (typing that out I think made my heart rate increase)

I went to the Dr. yesterday, normal check up, things are fine. Measuring 28 weeks, heart rate was 153. That's lower than it has ever been, but I think it was also one of the few moments the Cash was actually sleeping. The Dr asked if the baby is moving and I said most definitely. The way she said it made me feel a lot more at ease about the constant movement of this child.

The Dr. did her normal set of questions, "how are you feeling?" "Anything changing?", then she busts out..."So have you decided about an epidural?"...Totally caught me off guard. And then she said well, we're at the point where we will see you about every 2 weeks. WHAT?! I'm that far along already!!! Crazy! Where did the time go?

But as I waddle into the 3rd Trimester, I am losing more and more sleep. Oh but I did remember a few more things that I have found that I love about pregnancy. One of the best things I have purchased...underwear. Pregnancy underwear. I'm not sure there is a huge difference (no pun intended as your butt gets bigger? Why? who knows...more cushion is my guess). But it is just more comfortable. Oh and the prego pants, the full panel ones, ah-mazing. I love not having a waistband to watch any "luv-muffin' stuff hanging over. I swear, when I'm done with these pants I will forget to zip up my zipper. Its so nice to just pull things up when you're getting dressed. One less step to do!

So far so good. Still just bracing myself for Delivery day, I need to get into that mental state....pray for me! :)

What I'm Learning about Pregnancy

So, I've been reflecting on the past 6 months and the knowledge of being pregnant. Here is a list of things that I have learned about myself and pregnancy in general (and it will count as a general update as to how I am doing ) Enjoy!

1. To survive, you have to have a sense of humor.



2. I have a sense of humor, probably different than most pregnant people.



3. I complain, but that is the humor part of me being pregnant.



4. I never knew that babies in the womb could move around so much. Kinda creepy, but a blessing.



5. People LOVE pregnant women. Even if they are complete strangers, they LOVE you.
   
   
6. People think you've become incapable of doing certain things. Its nice to have the help on some things, but I still can open doors, carry small things, and sit in back seats.



7. People think you eat like a pig.



8. I don't eat like a pig. I can't. There isn't any extra room for all that food. I never realized that eating would make me feel so uncomfortable. There's time I don't want to eat a meal so I don't have to deal with the feeling of being overstuffed.



9. I am not a tough person. (Jose will tell you this willingly) I don't like the aches and growing pains that come with pregnancy. I hope I can survive labor!



10. I need to hire an in home massage therapist for the next three months. If anyone is open and willing to work for dirt cheap...send them my way.



11. I never knew that you would lose so much sleep BEFORE the baby comes. I con't care if this is a prep process, I just want to sleep at night!



12. I have become a furness. I could heat up a room like its no one's business. This coming from someone who was typically cold all the time.



13. I'm not feeling that beautiful. I've gotten more compliments now than ever before, but man...getting this belly out of bed in the morning does not make you feel beautiful.



14. There is no more graceful walking, no sexy swager left in me. I tried it yesterday, it hurt to walk that way. I've given in to the prego waddle.



15. I'm not a crier. Is there something wrong with me? Everyone else and the books I've read said that you become an emotional wreck when you're pregnant. Only once, maybe twice, have I wanted to cry (both have been out of frustration over something). I don't cry at diaper commercials, or when I think of my future child, or how my parents did such a great job of raising me. I just don't cry. I hope this is normal.



16. I have an out of control sweet tooth. I had a sweet tooth before, but now it is RAGING ridiculous.
    

Well, there was alot more that I had rolling around in my head, but I've lost it. Thats one other thing. You have no memory, no sanity left when you're pregnant. If I don't write it down, it probably won't get done (or at least not all the way). I feel like an idiot sometimes, but again. People love pregnant women, so they forgive you easily.

Over all, things have been good. I have been blessed. I don't feel like I have to worry about much pregnancy wise. I've heard stories of how women have struggled, they were ill all the time, bed ridden, and pregnancy was just horrible. I've not been horrible, a little more exhausted than normal, but over all good. I know the ache's and pains come with the gift.

I probably verbalize them more to Jose who has to think that I am the world's biggest wimp. He unfortunatly gets the reall me, the all of me, the private thoughts of me that no one else gets. He's been a trooper. Sympathy and empathy are way off of the charts for him...meaning he does not possess one ounce of those gifts. But he is learning and doing very well! He's given in to my cravings of eating out when we should be eating in. He's been willing (for the most part) to get up and get me something to drink because I am just to comfortable on the couch. He's rubbed my back (begrudgingly) several times a week. I try not to take advantage of his spousal sweetness, but sometimes it happens. Although, I won't feel bad soon. He informed me that he will not have a problem making fun of my cankles...

So three more months to go. Hopefully the hot horrible humid Indiana summers will stay away this year. I'm praying for a cooler, mild summer to go with my increasingly large belly. It will make my waddles to work much easier twice a day.

Stress!

Stress is never a good thing when you're pregnant. Work isn't stressing me out, which is a first as the other jobs I've had would lead me to pull my hair out (figuratively speaking).

No, its just stressful to think of money. I have no control over it, well OK maybe limited to partial control. I don't want to claim control, because then I have to own up to the mistakes we've made with money.

But we're trying to be disciplined. Its hard! But we're going off of the Dave Ramsey cash only theory and it seems to be working out OK. Just when I get the discipline and strong desire to get us really straightened out....we have to start planning for baby furniture. When you get rid of a car payment, medical bills add up to the same amount not freeing up any extra money. Babies are expensive! I appreciate more and more what my parents did for me and how they did it while staying relatively debt free!

My biggest stresser is income. Come the end of September I will not have a pay check until I go back to work. I do NOT want to go back to work 2 weeks after giving birth to my first child. I WON'T go back to work that early. So I've been bugging Jose to get a job. Poor guy, never gets a break it seems. But we set a goal for what he needs to make this summer so that we can still stay afloat while I am off work on unpaid maternity leave. ( I will be paid, but really for a short amount of time, getting pregnant didn't fall as I had planned....typical). We had a good opportunity last summer to earn a decent amount of money and it looked promising for this summer to. Well that fell through. Good thing I had a few months heads up! I hadn't figured that into anything yet, so we are still where we were a week ago.

But last night.....I felt some relief. I have been automatically having money withdrawn and put into an savings account. One that we can't touch (it would take days to get money released from this account) I don't really check it that often, I figure the less money I know I have, the less I spend. I had nearly double what I thought we had!

God is so good. I had just spent the previous 2 hours pouting and stressing and getting really mad (at money). I literally was about in tears walking through the grocery store knowing we had little money, plus I was going to spend more money on an unexpected grocery shopping trip (it was only $3.00 but I was at the grocery only an hour earlier for other things). So to come home, and look up this savings account and find that I had more money saved up than I had originally thought!

Actually, we have saved up now what my goal was as a minimum for when the baby arrived! So that just means that we have 4 more months of very active savings to do! I upped the Anni and we're saving more for the next 4 months.

I don't know why I stress about my finances and what we have and don't have. God has ALWAYS been faithful to provide. ALWAYS! When I am faithful and do my part, He is always doing his part. He was when we were in Des Moines, He was this time, and He will be when our little one arrives in September!

Phew....I don't have to worry about it!

Yep, I'm Pregnant.

By now, just about everyone who reads this blog knows that I am pregnant.  My husband has been relentlessly bugging me about blogging about being pregnant.  Now that I am out of the nasty first trimester and I have energy again I can finally blog.  (My other excuse, I've been busy.  Plus I work all day on a computer and one of the last things I want to do at night is sit in front of a computer)

So..here it is.  I'm Pregnant! Yep! 

From the very beginning, here's how it happened. 

November 2008.  I finally had a Dr's appointment to figure out what as going on.  After two years of messed up menstral cycles (really the absence of one unless the Dr intervened) it was time to figure out what was really going on so that we could actually start a family of our own.  After blood work, an ultrasound, and a general look over, it turns out I have low estrogen.  Another blood test confirmed the low estrogen was the problem and to get pregnant that was an easy fix.  So we set the next Dr's appointment to talk about going on medicine such as Chlomed to help us along in the process.  You know OBGYN offices are always hard to get into, so I had to wait until Mid January until I could get in to see the Dr again. 

So Jan 15th rolls around and the big Dr's appointment has finally arrived.  I have to go through the history run down with the Dr. She checks me out again and explains to me the process.  We'll take a pregnancy test just to make sure and then we'll go through what goes on with the medicine.  No surprises here.  Every pregnancy test I have taken in the past 2.5 years (well really ANY pregnancy test that I have EVER taken) is negative.  NEGATIVE. So I just obliged the request to take pregnancy test awaiting the typical response. 

So the nurse is there take the test (what a job, handling a urine filled plastic cup) and we're waiting. She's making small talk and asks me what the Dr said. I was filling her in on how we were taking the test to make sure it was negative and then she would be back in to talk about the medicine.  The nurse then proceeds to tell me that we're not going to have to talk about the medicine.  "You're pregnant" 

WHAT?!?!?!  I  think my jaw dropped and I said "Are you serious? Are you sure?!?!?" She said "Yep! Two lines means you are pregnant."  The Dr came back in and shared with me that she had a feeling I was pregnant when she examined me. (sorry, that may be TMI) So off we went to get an Ultra sound to see how far along I was.  

4-5 weeks along I was.  Totally in shock. The Dr's office was almost as excited as I was.  One lady had the biggest grin and explained that they don't really get to share this moment with anyone, typically people know already when they come in.  I certainly had NO IDEA!!!!!!

So here we are.  Due Sept 18th. Currently, I am approximately 15-16 weeks along.  

To the New year

So it is a new year in general and it is a new year in my life.  Yep, the big 2-8.  

So recapping where I was a year ago...we don' t have the time.  I can say that it is a 180 turn and it is only by the hand of God that I am where I am now. 

I love history, but I find myself in a stalemate if I keep looking backwards at what I could've should've done.  So here is to looking forward.

Goals for this new year of life...

Be on time, be early.

Read.

Exercise.

Write and call more.

Cook more.

Be intentional.

Follow through.

Love my husband.

The list could be and probably should be longer.  It is made of the same things I typically say I am going to work on (although this is the first time I think I've put "Be on time, be early" on the list.)  So again it is just turning over an old leaf.  I'll probably be turning it over for years, but I'm ok with that.  

I'm a work in progress.