It finally hit me...

I have to deliver this baby that is inside of me!

I know, I know...that is how it works. But I've been so focused on what is going on now that I haven't thought about what will really happen in September! (typing that out I think made my heart rate increase)

I went to the Dr. yesterday, normal check up, things are fine. Measuring 28 weeks, heart rate was 153. That's lower than it has ever been, but I think it was also one of the few moments the Cash was actually sleeping. The Dr asked if the baby is moving and I said most definitely. The way she said it made me feel a lot more at ease about the constant movement of this child.

The Dr. did her normal set of questions, "how are you feeling?" "Anything changing?", then she busts out..."So have you decided about an epidural?"...Totally caught me off guard. And then she said well, we're at the point where we will see you about every 2 weeks. WHAT?! I'm that far along already!!! Crazy! Where did the time go?

But as I waddle into the 3rd Trimester, I am losing more and more sleep. Oh but I did remember a few more things that I have found that I love about pregnancy. One of the best things I have purchased...underwear. Pregnancy underwear. I'm not sure there is a huge difference (no pun intended as your butt gets bigger? Why? who knows...more cushion is my guess). But it is just more comfortable. Oh and the prego pants, the full panel ones, ah-mazing. I love not having a waistband to watch any "luv-muffin' stuff hanging over. I swear, when I'm done with these pants I will forget to zip up my zipper. Its so nice to just pull things up when you're getting dressed. One less step to do!

So far so good. Still just bracing myself for Delivery day, I need to get into that mental state....pray for me! :)

What I'm Learning about Pregnancy

So, I've been reflecting on the past 6 months and the knowledge of being pregnant. Here is a list of things that I have learned about myself and pregnancy in general (and it will count as a general update as to how I am doing ) Enjoy!

1. To survive, you have to have a sense of humor.



2. I have a sense of humor, probably different than most pregnant people.



3. I complain, but that is the humor part of me being pregnant.



4. I never knew that babies in the womb could move around so much. Kinda creepy, but a blessing.



5. People LOVE pregnant women. Even if they are complete strangers, they LOVE you.
   
   
6. People think you've become incapable of doing certain things. Its nice to have the help on some things, but I still can open doors, carry small things, and sit in back seats.



7. People think you eat like a pig.



8. I don't eat like a pig. I can't. There isn't any extra room for all that food. I never realized that eating would make me feel so uncomfortable. There's time I don't want to eat a meal so I don't have to deal with the feeling of being overstuffed.



9. I am not a tough person. (Jose will tell you this willingly) I don't like the aches and growing pains that come with pregnancy. I hope I can survive labor!



10. I need to hire an in home massage therapist for the next three months. If anyone is open and willing to work for dirt cheap...send them my way.



11. I never knew that you would lose so much sleep BEFORE the baby comes. I con't care if this is a prep process, I just want to sleep at night!



12. I have become a furness. I could heat up a room like its no one's business. This coming from someone who was typically cold all the time.



13. I'm not feeling that beautiful. I've gotten more compliments now than ever before, but man...getting this belly out of bed in the morning does not make you feel beautiful.



14. There is no more graceful walking, no sexy swager left in me. I tried it yesterday, it hurt to walk that way. I've given in to the prego waddle.



15. I'm not a crier. Is there something wrong with me? Everyone else and the books I've read said that you become an emotional wreck when you're pregnant. Only once, maybe twice, have I wanted to cry (both have been out of frustration over something). I don't cry at diaper commercials, or when I think of my future child, or how my parents did such a great job of raising me. I just don't cry. I hope this is normal.



16. I have an out of control sweet tooth. I had a sweet tooth before, but now it is RAGING ridiculous.
    

Well, there was alot more that I had rolling around in my head, but I've lost it. Thats one other thing. You have no memory, no sanity left when you're pregnant. If I don't write it down, it probably won't get done (or at least not all the way). I feel like an idiot sometimes, but again. People love pregnant women, so they forgive you easily.

Over all, things have been good. I have been blessed. I don't feel like I have to worry about much pregnancy wise. I've heard stories of how women have struggled, they were ill all the time, bed ridden, and pregnancy was just horrible. I've not been horrible, a little more exhausted than normal, but over all good. I know the ache's and pains come with the gift.

I probably verbalize them more to Jose who has to think that I am the world's biggest wimp. He unfortunatly gets the reall me, the all of me, the private thoughts of me that no one else gets. He's been a trooper. Sympathy and empathy are way off of the charts for him...meaning he does not possess one ounce of those gifts. But he is learning and doing very well! He's given in to my cravings of eating out when we should be eating in. He's been willing (for the most part) to get up and get me something to drink because I am just to comfortable on the couch. He's rubbed my back (begrudgingly) several times a week. I try not to take advantage of his spousal sweetness, but sometimes it happens. Although, I won't feel bad soon. He informed me that he will not have a problem making fun of my cankles...

So three more months to go. Hopefully the hot horrible humid Indiana summers will stay away this year. I'm praying for a cooler, mild summer to go with my increasingly large belly. It will make my waddles to work much easier twice a day.

Stress!

Stress is never a good thing when you're pregnant. Work isn't stressing me out, which is a first as the other jobs I've had would lead me to pull my hair out (figuratively speaking).

No, its just stressful to think of money. I have no control over it, well OK maybe limited to partial control. I don't want to claim control, because then I have to own up to the mistakes we've made with money.

But we're trying to be disciplined. Its hard! But we're going off of the Dave Ramsey cash only theory and it seems to be working out OK. Just when I get the discipline and strong desire to get us really straightened out....we have to start planning for baby furniture. When you get rid of a car payment, medical bills add up to the same amount not freeing up any extra money. Babies are expensive! I appreciate more and more what my parents did for me and how they did it while staying relatively debt free!

My biggest stresser is income. Come the end of September I will not have a pay check until I go back to work. I do NOT want to go back to work 2 weeks after giving birth to my first child. I WON'T go back to work that early. So I've been bugging Jose to get a job. Poor guy, never gets a break it seems. But we set a goal for what he needs to make this summer so that we can still stay afloat while I am off work on unpaid maternity leave. ( I will be paid, but really for a short amount of time, getting pregnant didn't fall as I had planned....typical). We had a good opportunity last summer to earn a decent amount of money and it looked promising for this summer to. Well that fell through. Good thing I had a few months heads up! I hadn't figured that into anything yet, so we are still where we were a week ago.

But last night.....I felt some relief. I have been automatically having money withdrawn and put into an savings account. One that we can't touch (it would take days to get money released from this account) I don't really check it that often, I figure the less money I know I have, the less I spend. I had nearly double what I thought we had!

God is so good. I had just spent the previous 2 hours pouting and stressing and getting really mad (at money). I literally was about in tears walking through the grocery store knowing we had little money, plus I was going to spend more money on an unexpected grocery shopping trip (it was only $3.00 but I was at the grocery only an hour earlier for other things). So to come home, and look up this savings account and find that I had more money saved up than I had originally thought!

Actually, we have saved up now what my goal was as a minimum for when the baby arrived! So that just means that we have 4 more months of very active savings to do! I upped the Anni and we're saving more for the next 4 months.

I don't know why I stress about my finances and what we have and don't have. God has ALWAYS been faithful to provide. ALWAYS! When I am faithful and do my part, He is always doing his part. He was when we were in Des Moines, He was this time, and He will be when our little one arrives in September!

Phew....I don't have to worry about it!

Yep, I'm Pregnant.

By now, just about everyone who reads this blog knows that I am pregnant.  My husband has been relentlessly bugging me about blogging about being pregnant.  Now that I am out of the nasty first trimester and I have energy again I can finally blog.  (My other excuse, I've been busy.  Plus I work all day on a computer and one of the last things I want to do at night is sit in front of a computer)

So..here it is.  I'm Pregnant! Yep! 

From the very beginning, here's how it happened. 

November 2008.  I finally had a Dr's appointment to figure out what as going on.  After two years of messed up menstral cycles (really the absence of one unless the Dr intervened) it was time to figure out what was really going on so that we could actually start a family of our own.  After blood work, an ultrasound, and a general look over, it turns out I have low estrogen.  Another blood test confirmed the low estrogen was the problem and to get pregnant that was an easy fix.  So we set the next Dr's appointment to talk about going on medicine such as Chlomed to help us along in the process.  You know OBGYN offices are always hard to get into, so I had to wait until Mid January until I could get in to see the Dr again. 

So Jan 15th rolls around and the big Dr's appointment has finally arrived.  I have to go through the history run down with the Dr. She checks me out again and explains to me the process.  We'll take a pregnancy test just to make sure and then we'll go through what goes on with the medicine.  No surprises here.  Every pregnancy test I have taken in the past 2.5 years (well really ANY pregnancy test that I have EVER taken) is negative.  NEGATIVE. So I just obliged the request to take pregnancy test awaiting the typical response. 

So the nurse is there take the test (what a job, handling a urine filled plastic cup) and we're waiting. She's making small talk and asks me what the Dr said. I was filling her in on how we were taking the test to make sure it was negative and then she would be back in to talk about the medicine.  The nurse then proceeds to tell me that we're not going to have to talk about the medicine.  "You're pregnant" 

WHAT?!?!?!  I  think my jaw dropped and I said "Are you serious? Are you sure?!?!?" She said "Yep! Two lines means you are pregnant."  The Dr came back in and shared with me that she had a feeling I was pregnant when she examined me. (sorry, that may be TMI) So off we went to get an Ultra sound to see how far along I was.  

4-5 weeks along I was.  Totally in shock. The Dr's office was almost as excited as I was.  One lady had the biggest grin and explained that they don't really get to share this moment with anyone, typically people know already when they come in.  I certainly had NO IDEA!!!!!!

So here we are.  Due Sept 18th. Currently, I am approximately 15-16 weeks along.  

To the New year

So it is a new year in general and it is a new year in my life.  Yep, the big 2-8.  

So recapping where I was a year ago...we don' t have the time.  I can say that it is a 180 turn and it is only by the hand of God that I am where I am now. 

I love history, but I find myself in a stalemate if I keep looking backwards at what I could've should've done.  So here is to looking forward.

Goals for this new year of life...

Be on time, be early.

Read.

Exercise.

Write and call more.

Cook more.

Be intentional.

Follow through.

Love my husband.

The list could be and probably should be longer.  It is made of the same things I typically say I am going to work on (although this is the first time I think I've put "Be on time, be early" on the list.)  So again it is just turning over an old leaf.  I'll probably be turning it over for years, but I'm ok with that.  

I'm a work in progress.

AHHHHH!!!

Ever have one of those days where relief comes from screaming at the top of your lungs!

Today is one of those days.

So feel free to scream with me if you please.

I'm counting down to a break. Right now, the first week of January looks like the next one. Phew....just one day at a time.

Long time

Well, its been a while since I've blogged. Not that I have forgotten, but I've just held off.

There's plenty on my mind, but I've found myself preoccupied with other things.
So be looking maybe later this week. There should be time in my week to lay down some thoughts that I'm wrestling with.

Hope Thanksgiving went well! Ours was great. I love family and friends. It is always hard to leave and jump back into the swing of normal everyday life. I love where I'm at, but definitely miss people.