Today's thoughts...Apathy

Why is it that we are never satisfied? More, why is it that I am never satisfied.

I was flipping through pictures and places my friends are. Colorado, Florida, Chicago, Des Moines. I want to be there more than I want to be here. But really, would that bring me what I am looking for? NO!

I'm at a place where I am great. Love my job, love that my husband has a job he loves. We're in a great place to pay of alot of debt and we can do ministry(not always an easy combination to find). I have family close by and can see them when I want to. But why am I not satisfied? This is what I asked for months ago!

I have lost sight of alot of things. I have lost sight for the need of my Savior. He is the only one who can satisfy all that is within me. It is through Him that I find peace and satisfaction with all things. I've known this for a while now. And I've known that I am creating a divide. How did I let it become The Great Divide though? Laziness? Apathy?

Yes...all of the above.

I know where I need to be, I know how to get there but I repeatedly don't do anything about it. Why? WHY? I was hit straight between the eye's this weekend. I have a desire to lead and wonder why I haven't had the specific opportunities I am looking for. I can't lead beyond where I am. And right now I'm pretty low. Who needs a leader who isn't doing anything about their own spiritual growth? NO ONE! Who needs a leader who is merely going through the motions? Who knows the right words and the right things to do, but isn't deeply rooted? Again, No One!

I'm rooted, but I'm not cultivating those roots. So be praying for me. I'm going to create The List that several friends have created. I'm going to post my distractions around my house so that I visually see those things that are keeping me from being where I want to be...growing, rooting, and blooming in HIM!

I need to be challenged, I need to be encouraged, I need to be pushed towards Him.